


fathers & sons

by badbavarois



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slight Mentions of Child Abuse, Soft Kylux, Wakes & Funerals, benarmie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:17:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbavarois/pseuds/badbavarois
Summary: Han dies. Hux picks up the pieces.





	fathers & sons

**Author's Note:**

> ray edited this ages ago but ao3 was down and i've been too lazy/melting ever since  
> also if there's any really weird typos let me know it's from my cat trying to sleep on my keyboard while i was posting this

Kylo’s knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel too tight. 

 

Hux is worried. He’s never met his boyfriend’s parents, could barely hear Leia’s voice when she called Kylo the morning before, but he’s heard enough stories to know whatever's to come doesn’t bode well. 

 

“I shouldn’t have let you drive,” he tells Kylo when they swerve around a pothole. They’re in the middle of nowhere, but according to the GPS, they’re only forty-five minutes away from the house Kylo grew up in.

 

“And why is that.” The lack of emotion in his voice adds to Hux’s worry.

 

“Your father just died in a car crash. Even though the two of you weren’t close, you’re clearly distraught.” Neither of them look at each other; Kylo keeps his eyes on the road and Hux watches fields full of cotton and corn and cows race by. “I’m worried.”

 

“I’m not distraught.” 

 

Hux doesn’t want to argue, but even still - “I think we’ve been together long enough that I can tell when you’re lying to me.”

 

Kylo doesn’t respond. When Hux glances at him, his jaw is clenched and his arms are stiff.

 

“Kylo.”

 

Kylo hums but doesn’t look at him.

 

“I love you.” Hux hates that he doesn’t -  _ can’t _ \- say that often enough. Maybe it’s residual trauma from his childhood, or from his lonely bio-mom’s absent smile, or the way his father and step-mother stepped around each other whenever they were both home. Maybe he’s not the affectionate type. But still, Kylo needs to hear it, now more than ever.

 

“I love you too.”

 

…

 

Ben Solo was twelve when his father taught him to drive a faded blue ‘65 Camaro, and thirteen the first time he ran from the police with a backpack full of prescription pills. 

 

He hid in a cornfield until the sun faded behind the hills and the cops were long gone. His dad yelled at him for losing the drugs and there was dirt ground into his bloody palms from when he tripped over train tracks.

 

“You lost five hundred dollars, kid,” his dad said. They stood in the garage and Ben’s wrist was gripped in one of his father’s rough hands while he scrubbed his bleeding hands with a dirty rag. “Somebody is gonna have to pay for that.”

 

Han sent him out once his hands stopped bleeding and didn’t let him come home until he found the bag a few miles south where he had ditched it. He could have died, but Han never did give damn about him, once he stopped being useful.

 

…

 

Leia smiles when she opens the door, but it drops a little when she sees Hux is standing on the porch too, just behind Kylo.

 

“Ben - “

 

“Kylo,” Hux cuts in, glaring at her. “He goes by Kylo.”

 

“It’s good to see you,” she carries on, ignoring him. “Who is your...friend?”

 

“Hux,” Kylo says. His neck is tense and a vein is throbbing at the base. “My boyfriend. I mentioned he was coming.”

 

“Ah.” She forced her frown into a half-hearted smile as she leads them inside. Kylo drops his bag in the entryway without much thought. Hux sets his down next to it. “I wish we had a guest bedroom for him, but with Rey and Finn here, he’ll have to take the couch - “

 

“He’s sleeping in my room,” Kylo says with the most emotion Hux has heard in his voice all day. It catches Hux off guard. He usually isn’t one to defend anyone, even his partner. “Obviously.”

 

Leia stops trying to force the smile altogether. “What?”

 

“Hux is sleeping in my room,” Kylo repeats. “Unless you’ve turned it into a storage room since I left.”

 

“Of course I didn’t, dear, it’s just, well…”

 

“Well, what?” Hux finally finds his voice. “Why can’t we?”

 

“It’s not terribly appropriate, Hutch - “

 

“Hux, Mom. For God’s sake, can you loosen up for five minutes?”

 

_ “Loosen up? _ Your father is  _ dead,  _ Benjamin, and you never answer my calls, and Rey is the only one to visit anymore - “

 

“Did you ever consider that maybe I didn’t visit because you and Dad fucked up my entire life?”

 

Leia stumbles back into the couch, flushed and breathing hard. “You - you don’t mean that, Ben.”

 

“God, I do, Mom. I swear to God I do.”

 

…

 

The bedroom is cold and dark. When Hux opens the faded curtains to let in the sunlight, he can see dust suspended in the air. The room hasn’t been opened in a long time.

 

Kylo throws their bags on the bed before standing behind Hux and wrapping his arms around his waist, burrowing his head into Hux’s neck. His voice is so muffled Hux can barely hear him say, “I shouldn’t have come.”

 

“It’s your father’s funeral. Even if your relationship was rocky - “

 

Kylo’s arms tighten around Hux’s stomach. “Leia doesn’t want me here. None of them do.”

 

Hux swallows, unsure of what to say. He’s never been in this situation before. He’s only ever been to one other funeral, for a distantly related aunt no one talked to. At the funeral, everyone laughed and smiled and talked about holidays with her in the 80s, trips back to Ireland. Hux doesn’t even know her name. He’s scared to think of how this funeral will be different.

 

“Does my being here help at all?”

 

Kylo nods. His chin digs into Hux’s collarbone, just shy of painful. 

 

Hux rubs the back of Kylo’s hand, already counting the hours until they’re back on the road home.

 

…

 

It was a Wednesday, Thanksgiving break of senior year. Leia was home cooking, leaving the entire house smelling like spices and roasting pumpkin, but the interior of Han’s ‘68 Mustang smelled like cigarettes and week-old fast food, noxious and bitter. 

 

“Do we have to do this tonight? Mom wanted us home soon.” It’s dark and Ben can barely make out the forest that lines the road. Han was pulled over last week for having one of his headlights out, and he still hasn’t replaced it. Refuses to, until he can find an original.

 

“Hey, your mom knows what my schedule is. If someone wants something, I deliver.” 

 

“I just don’t get why I have to come along,” Ben mutters. He rests his forehead against the cool window. Water beads on the glass.

 

Han slams on the breaks. The car comes screeching to a halt, and before the wheels completely stop, Han is yanking Ben’s wrist. 

 

“You know what your fucking job is. You either do it or you walk home.”

 

Ben swallows thickly, like a rock has lodged in his throat. He tries to pull away, but Han grips tighter, hard enough to bruise. 

 

“What do you say, Ben?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

…

 

Hux is sitting at the edge of the bed, reading a book while Kylo naps. While he sleeps, his face is softer, and the worry lines fade. Hux keeps a hand on Kylo’s ankle, keeps him grounded. 

 

An hour later, someone bangs on the door. Hux looks up to see Rey bursting in before he has a chance to respond.

 

“Mom wants you to pick up the car from the impound lot,” she says, tossing him the keys. 

 

Hux frowns. “Can it even still drive?”

 

Rey shrugs. “Probably? Call me if it can’t and we’ll figure something out.” 

 

Neither of them mention that they don’t have each other’s numbers, and Kylo blocked her number and Facebook account. If worst comes to worst, Hux can DM her and hopes she answers. 

 

Once she leaves, shutting the bedroom door behind her, Hux closes his book. He presses a kiss to Kylo’s forehead, whispers, “Wake up, Kylo.”

 

Kylo’s nose wrinkles. He groans and rolls over. 

 

“Kylo.”

 

He lets out another groan.

 

“It’s time to wake up.”

 

“Nap time.”

 

“Ky - “ Before he can finish, Kylo is rolling around, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him into bed and flopping on top of him. He sighs, combs his fingers through Kylo’s hair. “We have to get your dad’s car.”

 

“I don’t wanna.”

 

Hux sighs again.

 

“Five more minutes?”

 

“Fine,” Hux concedes, “but only five.”

 

…

 

Ben sits in the driver’s seat, one hand wrapped around the steering wheel and the other holding the key, already in the ignition and waiting to be turned. It’s dark and cold enough that Ben can see his breath fog.

 

In the alley across the street, he can barely make out his dad’s silhouette and someone else, hood pulled over their head. On the main road, he doesn’t see any sign of police, or anyone else. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his seat. Over the past few months, they haven’t even had to run from the cops. Ben’s just - 

 

But then his dad is sprinting toward him, shouting something Ben’s can’t make out, but he guns the engine, pulling out of the alley. Han clambers in and screams  _ GO  _ before the door is even fully shut.

 

Ben slams his foot down on the gas, air getting caught in his lungs. He glances in the rearview mirror only once, and sees the stranger standing in the road, moonlight glinting off a gun.

 

“What happened?” he asks Han once they’re twenty minutes out.

 

“Undercover cop,” Han says. 

 

Ben’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel. “Did he get a good look at you?”

 

Han snorts. “I know what I’m doing.”

 

But two weeks later, Ben is getting pulled out of class by the school resource officer and shoved in the back of a police cruiser. 

 

…

 

Hux doesn’t know how much time has passed before Rey is bursting in again. 

 

“Y’all put your clothes back on after fucking? That’s weird.”

 

He glances down and blushes, all too aware of how it looks. The sheets are twisted around their legs, Kylo asleep on his chest. 

 

“We didn’t - “

 

“Nope.” Rey holds up her hands to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it. Just go get the car before Mom loses her shit.”

 

…

 

“The court finds the defendant Benjamin Organa Solo guilty of the possession of illegal substances, the intention to distribute said illegal substances, and resisting arrest. He is sentenced to five years in federal prison, with a possibility of parole after two.”

 

He tilts his head back so he doesn’t have to look at the judge. Behind him, he can hear Leia crying.

 

...

 

The drive to the police station is short. Kylo gives Hux directions while fiddling with the radio before giving up.

 

“Everything here is so shitty,” he says.

 

The department is small, but nicer than Hux expected. The secretary - young, bored, playing minesweeper on the desktop - hands them a clipboard and paperwork to fill out. Hux does it, checking boxes and signing on the dotted line. Kylo’s hand is on his thigh, warm through his jeans.

 

“I haven’t been here in years and it looks the exact same.” Hux glances at him out of the corner of his eye as he checks the  _ no  _ box under  _ have you ever been arrested?  _ “Even the cat calendar is the same.”

 

Once he turns in the paperwork, the secretary calls an officer from the break room to take them to the impound lot. The man is old and balding. Beside him, Kylo tenses. 

 

The man frowns, eyes scrunched up. “Is that you, Ben?”

 

“It’s Kylo, now.” Hux squeezes Kylo’s hand until it stops shaking. “Changed it once I got my record expunged.”

 

“Ah.” The officer scratches the back of his head, looking everywhere except Kylo. “And who’s this?”

 

Hux offers the hand not holding Kylo’s. As they shake hands, he says, “Armitage Hux. I’m Kylo’s boyfriend.” 

 

“It’s nice to see him settling down. I’m Officer Ackbar. I was in charge of - “

 

“Do we really need to talk about this?”

 

“Han’s parole. I’ve known Kylo most of his life. There was a time I thought he would end up like his dad, but I’m happy to see you got him straightened out.”

 

Hux is about to respond when Kylo slams his fist into the wall. The wall’s fine - whitewash cinder block - but Kylo’s hand is red and flecked with blood. Hux stops him before he can pull his hand back for another swing.

 

“Kylo!” His eyes are wild, dark and scared. “Go wait in the car.” 

 

He swallows and nods before walking outside. 

 

“Still has that same old temper, eh?”

 

Hux glares at Ackbar until he closes his mouth. “Just take me to Solo’s car.”

 

…

 

Ben got out of prison in two years, a week few before his twentieth birthday. He celebrated alone in a shitty apartment after his first parole visit with Officer Snoke. He crawled out the window and smoked on the fire escape. 

 

He got a shitty job at a hardware store and got fired six months later for yelling at a customer before landing another shitty job that barely paid minimum wage. 

 

He turned twenty-one and got his record expunged, convinced Snoke to write a job recommendation so he could finally make enough to move out of his fourth-floor walk up next to the fire department. 

 

He was twenty-two when he met Hux, twenty-three when they got drunk and made out, twenty-four when he first said  _ I love you  _ to someone and meant it, and twenty-seven when he learns, no matter how far you run, your past always catches up eventually.

 

…

 

The Mustang was once cherry red, but it’s faded now, the paint scratched and covered in dirt. The roof is crushed in from rolling, and three of the tires are flat. The fourth blew off the rim completely. There’s no way he can drive it back to Leia's.

 

“What happened?” he asks Ackbar. 

 

“Solo was late to his parole meeting, so I dropped by his house. He freaked and climbed out a window. He ran a red light and got hit by a semi, rolled about three times.”

 

He nods. He never met the man, but he knows Kylo, and how he reacts under pressure. This wouldn’t be out of character. 

 

“Keep it,” he says, turning to walk out. “Leia can deal with it.”

 

When he gets to the car, Kylo’s eyes are puffy from crying and he’s curled in on himself. Hux reaches over the gearshift to pull him into a hug, kisses his shoulder and neck and jaw, whispers  _ I love you. _

 

He means it.

 

…

 

The first time Hux sees Kylo, he hates him. They’re neighbors in an apartment building a few blocks away from campus - close enough that Hux rarely has to drive in the city traffic, far enough to avoid the noise and havoc of freshmen. It’s good, until Kylo moved in.

 

Kylo - who plays too loud music all night and throws things and always does his laundry when Hux does, forcing him to notice just how pretty his neighbor is. Rough and unconventional, but pretty. It’s Kylo’s fault that Hux got a crush, Kylo’s fault that they got drunk while watching paid programming at three AM when Hux is barely even a social drinker.

 

But Hux doesn’t blame anyone for the kiss, and the way Kylo’s callused hand cupped his jar, the other tugging on his hair, bottom lip caught between teeth and a tongue that tastes like cheap beer. 

 

Hux didn’t  _ do  _ one night stands. He didn’t do casual hookups. He didn’t date, but something in Kylo brought out a part of Hux he couldn’t quite name. Something new, something he wanted to keep as long as he could. 

 

And in the morning, when he had a hangover straight from Hell, he rolled over and kissed Kylo again, and Kylo kissed back, warm and constant.

 

…

 

The funeral was small and awkward. Besides family, Ackbar came, and a few of Leia’s coworkers. A few people stood in the cemetery, too far away to make out - Han’s friends? - but they never joined the group. 

 

As they laid white lilies and dirt over the coffin, after it was lowered, Leia was the only one to cry. 

 

…

 

Kylo doesn’t think about his father. Didn’t, from the second he heard the verdict to the moment he was released. He was a shit dad, rarely home. His parents didn’t love each other, and as much as Leia tried to convince him otherwise, they didn’t love their son either.

 

When they adopted Rey, Leia almost made him into an honest man. He stopped dragging Ben out to sell drugs. It lasted two months before they were out again. 

 

He didn’t think about Rey either. Leia mentioned visiting Han in a different prison with her, but Leia always came alone, awkward smiles and fumbled excuses and  _ Rey had dance practice today, there's a recital coming up, she’s sorry she couldn’t make it.  _

 

He wasn’t upset. He knows they all blame him for getting caught - Han made sure, when he told them it was Ben who got made, not him, that night in October. 

 

So he doesn’t blame them, but he doesn’t love them, either.

 

…

 

The drive home feels longer than the drive there. 

 

Hux holds Kylo’s hand, rubs his thumb over the fresh skin on his knuckles. They give up on finding a radio station altogether and Kylo pulls up a playlist on his phone. Hux still thinks Kylo’s music taste is God awful, but he knows Kylo is beginning to feel better an hour into the drive, when he starts to sing along. 

 

He kisses Kylo at stop signs and red lights and intersections while waiting to turn, at the gas station before he runs in to use the bathroom and buy water. Tells Kylo he loves him after every kiss. Tells himself he’ll say it more, because it’s what they both deserve. Because he does love Kylo, heart and soul.

 

When they get home after picking Millicent up from a friend’s house, they cook dinner, Kylo’s music still playing. After she eats, Hux holds Millicent like a baby, watching Kylo cook. He’s not sure what his partner is making, but it smells amazing, and he’s hungry enough to not complain. 

 

That night, as they’re going to sleep, he pulls Kylo close, and knows, no matter what else life throws at them, they’ll be together to pick themselves up. 

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading. comments/kudos are appreciated. requests are open but not guaranteed.   
> tumblr - shuos-jedao/pretty-boy-kylo/claude-lit  
> twitter - cactixix


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